Thankful Reflections in the Best and Worst of Times....

One of my favorite literary authors is Charles Dickens. Incredible stories of misfortune and triumph have emerged from his mind. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." is the famous opening for The Tale of Two Cities.

Incredibly enough, this phrase coins where I am at in life. Good and bad things happening all at once...all different extremes. How do we cope? How do we wake up everyday and keep going? The motivation behind survival comes from all different things, and recognizing what that is is how we cope and how we keep going on.

Today is the day before Thanksgiving, and this time of year always gets crazy. Crazy good for some, and crazy bad for others. The pressure of the "perfect holiday" looms over like a dark cloud. How do we, as busy, social-media hungry, already stretched-too-thin individuals diffuse this pressure?

1. QTIP - Quit Taking It Personally (everyone is going through something)
2. KISS - Keep It Simple Silly (choose what matters)
3. NO - Say it without feeling bad. Even the best horse can't wear two saddles!
4. YES - To you, to self-care, to taking care of what's the nearest and dearest to you.
5. THANKFUL - Every day, no matter where you are at, be thankful for something.

I woke up this morning, inspired. Bills fill my mailbox, the refrigerator could be fuller, and heck, I would love not having to work 3 jobs to keep things going but...

I'm thankful for my healthy children who love me.
I'm thankful for my health and my ability to work as much as I do to provide.
I'm thankful for all the people that I have met in my different jobs.
I'm thankful for my friends, and for my family, and for all of those who have always supported me, no matter what.
My mind is reflective today as we are 5 weeks away from a new decade.
What will it bring?
Hope and prosperity is a mindset...and fueling it with what we are thankful for is the key to keep on keeping on!
All the best and Happy Thanksgiving!

In all things, give thanks - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Reservation & Preservation

"Table for two at 7:30pm, please." I politely requested a specific time when calling one of my favorite restaurants. "I'm sorry, we don't have that time available. We have 6pm or 9pm." In my head, I'm like "YUCK!" Too early and too late...are these really my options? I settle into the idea of a late dinner...with my ever-optimistic mind, maybe I will get in a little early? "9pm will work, thank you."

After hanging up, I realized I thanked someone for NOT GIVING ME WHAT I WANTED! Ha, what is wrong with this picture? Of course, it's a simple fix...and it's only a dinner reservation. I could change nights, go somewhere else, or stay in and cook. Definitely not the end of the world. But this whole ordeal actually got me thinking. Do I direct my journey and decisions, or do I allow others to direct me? Am I so influenced by others that I tend to settle with less than just so I can be a part of something?

My mind wandered to my life as of late; crazy schedule with my children, back in school, fullest plate ever, two jobs, barely any time to think...or to wrap my head around where I am at. As a single woman in her mid 40's, I have to take the bull by the horns and determine my own happiness. With a still lingering aching heart, and looming bills...I got selfish. I booked a "self care" day on Thursday. A facial, massage, fancy dinner with friends...and no, I didn't have any extra money but what good is all I am doing if I don't take care of the pilot of this ship...ME.

After my evening, I slept better than I have in weeks. My heart healed a bit more (just a smidge), and I was a better mom to my kids, a better teacher, better coworker...better friend.

Investing in yourself isn't selfish. It's necessary. How can we fill others' cups when our own cup is empty? We can point blame, question people's motives and even cast out our own insecurities and failures on others to make our own soul feel better. However what does all of that do except plant seeds of resentment in the garden of life? These seeds will bloom in the many storms of life, and you will be left at square one of self-discovery.

Self-preservation is a mind set. It's not surviving this life...it's thriving in it. It's adapting to change, and understanding what you need to better yourself, your life, and the lives of those around you.

"Hi, this is Tiffany. I have a reservation at 9, but it just will not work so please cancel and I will call back another time." I hung up, feeling a sense of satisfaction, not disappointment. The restaurant isn't going anywhere...but I am. The new path that I am creating for myself is bringing great things.

I reserve the right to my own self preservation!

The Sun Still Rises

The Sun Still Rises

The sun still rises
even when you have a broken heart
The world keeps spinning
even when you don't know where to start

The sun travels the azure sky
ever so wonderfully from east to west
You peek outside the window
but all your body craves is quiet rest

A broken heart is real
and can be the result of many things
Can be death, or betrayal, or
a loss of souls to queens and kings

As days and weeks slowly pass
one wonders can a fractured heart ever mend
when you wake up each new day
and just pray for it to come to a silent end

The sun still rises
even when you have a broken heart
But one day you will awaken
and want to make a brand new start

The sun so beautifully sets
especially when you have healed
You wistfully take in all of its glory
as your renewed brightened spirit is revealed.

"He heals the wounds of every shattered heart" Psalms 147:3

Taking chances...

It has been a bit since my last post; I won't apologize as I only blog when my mind allows. Which means, my mind has not allowed much as of late. Life has caught up with me, and it has caught up with me HARD. One day at a time is what I can deal with right now. Sometimes, just an hour at a time. My soul and heart are in a bit of turmoil but I know that it only means something GREAT is going to happen.

I have taken a lot of chances in my life. Some have ended wonderfully, some have ended terribly, but all have ended with me growing and learning and understanding myself more. Isn't that what it's about? Personal growth? If we don't have takeaways from each experience, we stall in our growth. Our beings are constant works in progress...daily...weekly...yearly works in progress. Every single day we learn a little bit more about ourselves; how we handle conflict, how we handle accomplishments, and how we handle heartbreak.

2019 is a promised year for me; a promised year of growth, taking chances, and moving forward. Resting my mind when things become overwhelming, hibernating when I need to regroup, and experiencing new things on my own. Being a great mom, engaged and open-minded to my children's needs and wants, is an important goal for me. Making decisions that I feel will best suit me and them. Becoming wiser in my journey by truly taking in all of life's circumstances, and process them and make them make sense for me. Remember, regret is a place we shall not dwell in...but a place we can always learn and grow from. Take a moment and reflect on your life and all the choices and chances you took and think about where you are today. The idea of consequence may come to mind, but in all things, and all the mistakes you made...you learned, you grew, and you became wiser.

"To acquire wisdom is to love yourself; people who cherish understanding will prosper." - Proverbs 19:8

Life is like a Rubik's Cube

Recently, my son has taken an affinity to the Rubik's Cube. Maybe it's a fad...but it has kept his attention nearly as well as his Xbox. It arrived neat in it's package and he was so excited. He almost didn't want to "screw it up" by messing with it as all of the colors were neatly lined up and matched.

Well, curiosity got the better of him, and he went at it. Mixing it up, trying new ways to get it back to it's original perfection. To no avail, after hours of listening to him in his room, the backseat of our car, and any other spot he could find to have at it, it remains a mismatched mess. And for now, he's put it down; in his words "to think about how he can get it back".

Of course, my ever-busy mind started thinking about how this Rubik's Cube can be compared to life. We start out new, matched, not-fractured...whole. Life's happenings twist us all about and can often make a mess...and we are left all "screwed up". Or are we?

We frantically search for ways to repair ourselves, better our souls, replenish what was lost...
I remember asking myself, "How did I get here? Where did I go wrong?" Self-help books, endless podcasts, uplifting memes and Pinterest posts string us along with a belief that we can truly help ourselves get back to good...whole...anew. Maybe just shifting our thoughts by just a little, we can stop beating ourselves up, improve our outlook on life and not get "back to good" but "move forward to better"?

What if you just accepted where you are...don't say you have...but BELIEVE that you are exactly where you are supposed to be no matter what your past whispers in your ear?
Every single day you are given a chance to speak kindness onto someone, smile through this life journey that, FYI, EVERYONE is on, and get wiser by the moment. And here's an eye-opener for you:
You may learn something new. Growth...change...it's uncomfortable. But our minds are boundless and have the ability to adapt and look at things through a different lens.

No...there really isn't a life manual to get back to good. My son asked me to order this on Amazon, but then he found a YouTuber who showed him how to do it, step by step, and what to do when he hit a wall. His spirits were lifted, and even though the Rubik's Cube was back to its original matched state, he went and messed it up again to challenge himself to solve it on his own.
I learn a lot from reading, writing, music...but I learn most from my children. Their fearless attempts at life inspire me to do the same.
Go buy yourself a Rubik's Cube and mess it up and see what it does for your mind!

Maybe it's time...

Do you let your past steal from your future? This post's title is named after a song from the recent remake of A Star Is Born.
Don't worry...I'm not going to spoil it for you if you haven't had the pleasure of seeing this fantastic movie. However, I will share the message I walked away with. We all have a past, whether it's laden with deep-rooted fears, hurts, or mistakes. With this being said, don't EVER let the past steal from your future. It's so easy to do.

"Maybe it's time to let the old ways die...
It takes a lot to change a man
Hell, it takes a lot to try
Maybe it's time to let the old ways die"

(Link to complete song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz0qhCWl1o4)

Opening lyrics but incredible advice. The song goes on to share about underlying religious beliefs, talking to God, and how difficult it can be to truly let the old ways die.

Standing in the mirror, looking at myself, I used to see the flaws, the sadness in my eyes, and the lingering hurt in my soul. Many sleepless nights where I allowed my mind to run away; patterns repeated because they were safe and a known path.

No where on this mind map does it say REGRET, DISAPPOINTMENT, JUDGEMENT, BLAME, HATE, or FAILURE. Think about these questions for a minute or two...

How many mistakes have you made?
How many hurtful words have you spoken?
How many times have you wished to be in a different place?
And, how much time have you wasted on things you cannot change?

You cannot change the past. You can only learn from it and change how you move forward. Simply said, yes, but definitely not simply done. Every day for me is a walk of faith. Waking up, and putting my feet on the floor and being 100% convinced that God has given me another day to live, to love, to make a difference, and to learn something new.

Are some days harder than others? Yes! But those hard days make the great days even greater. It can be so easy to become overwhelmed and wrap ourselves up with the safe blanket of our past; it's warm, it's disturbingly comfortable but it will suffocate you, your growth, and your future.

As Spock so dutifully quoted in every Star Trek flick: "Live long and prosper."

Tell me something good...

2018 is gone. And as thankful I am to have survived another year on this earth, I feel in 2018, that's what I did. Survive. Several joyful moments..yes...that were clouded by many moments of self-doubt, heartache, and voids. Prayers unanswered. The question, "how did I get here?" played in my mind over and over and over again.

My goal for this year, and the many years after this one, is to be present and love my life.

I want to open my mind wide to new opportunities, open my heart to new possibilities and thrive, not just survive. I want the old wounds to close and heal. My heart is ready for great things.

I attended a celebration of life recently...it was such a tragically beautiful day. So much love was present amongst many people; people who had traveled near and far to share, and it is times such as these that make us wonder why it takes such tragedy to realize what is truly important.

Love is all encompassing. Love is the undercurrent of all existence. It can cover bitterness, hatred, disappointment, and can bring about peace. I am challenging myself to find the positive in everything, to share something relevant, and tell others something good to enhance their day. The cliche "a smile can change someone's day" is so true, especially in our world today.

Today, as I watch the warm January rain wash over my house, it's seemingly washing away the lingering dirt of a year that is forever behind me; lessons of struggle, misjudgment, loneliness and sadness.

2019 is not just a new year, but signifies new hope. Good things will happen.
Be the good, until you're living your best life.