People that know me know how I LOVE to cook; like LOVE it. My happy place is my kitchen, chopping, cooking, sauteing, roasting...you get me. Music streaming, a full house of people to feed, and a yummy bottle of wine to share. For me, it doesn't get much better than that.
Lately, I've been cooking up a storm. Not just literally, but figuratively.
I have been cooking, writing, cleaning, sleeping, trudging, running, crying, laughing, reading, and healing. My brain is on full speed - working as a 5th grade teacher, balancing life as a mom, daughter, sister, friend, colleague...where does the me-time happen? The quiet time? The silent house? Ahhhhh!
Be careful what you wish for...the quiet time has arrived...somewhat.
Being single is not a status; it is a journey. It's not the easiest of journeys but it is one I am embarking on. The "storm" I have been cooking up has been one of self-realization and of self-love. For many years, I have allowed chaos to rule my world, allowed self-doubt to direct my paths, and have enabled those who didn't always want what was best for me.
Coming out on the other side of heartbreak is an amazing feat. When you wake up one day, and realize something doesn't "hurt" anymore, it is a great feeling. The lingering memory and emotions hang out for a bit, but the clarity that is discovered is beyond words. When you fight the healing process, you end up just fighting yourself. In the past, I've blogged passionately about moving forward, letting go, forgiveness, listening to your gut, and being your own champion. (Maybe I should revisit those posts?)
I am my own woman. I own a home and a car, and I support myself and my children by working hard, praying faithfully, and believing I can always do better. Knowing that a lot of THIS has emerged from the ashes of hurt and heartbreak only continues to prove to me that I can do this and I will be OK. Dang it, I will be better than OK...I am going to be the best version of me I have ever been!
We are 21 days away from Christmas, and I feel as if I am in uncharted territory. I am not necessarily scared, or worried, or even sad about spending the holiday season single. I've learned recently there is a very big difference between being lonely and being alone.
I am hopeful. I am enlightened. And I am healing. An ongoing process of daily a-ha moments, quiet evenings, mind-clearing runs, and spending time "cooking up a storm".
1 Corinthians 13:8 Love never fails.
