Living in Florida, you always know when it's allergy season. Red eyes, runny noses, sneezing and just a plethora of misery around. I feel fortunate that I don't really suffer from allergies, but my son, a seasonal asthmatic, does suffer. As soon as I come out to my car and see the milky yellow oak pollen glaze, I know what's about to happen. His asthma will be triggered and then the increased inhaler treatments and daily doses of Claritin will follow.
Emotional triggers...well that's another story. And after 44 years on this Earth, I am kinda (finally) in tune to my triggers and the results aren't always as easy to cure as a Claritin and a box of tissues. Knowing what your triggers are is key, but often enough, we learn what our emotional triggers are AFTER the damage has been done.
For example, I've had some heartache (understatement). Some of it, my own damn fault. Not trusting my instincts, not listening to my soul-music (soul-music is the next blog so stay tuned!), and worst of all, repeating patterns because I feared the new, the uncomfortable...the unknown journey. As emotional human beings, we can get into this space where we believe if we 100% know what to expect, we will feel "safe."
3am...and your eyes shoot open, and at first you're relieved to see the time..."oh good, 3 more hours to sleep" but here's the deal...you are DONE for the night. No amount of position changes, yummy wine, melatonin, Xanax...whatever...is going to turn your mind off. Something...someone has triggered a response and your conscience is not going to shut up. Your mind races, and work worries surface, past hurts re-emerge, new worries are created...and then the alarm goes off, with your red-rimmed eyes still wide open and your soul (and body) exhausted.
I don't know about you, but I'm tired. I'm tired of people saying, "Tiffany, you look tired." But to be completely frank with you, I'm tired of BEING exhausted and dealing with the lingering results of not knowing how to change it up; how to reduce the "trigger effect".
Honestly, it isn't about money. Money comes in and money comes out. And, it isn't about hope, because I got plenty of that! Re-training the brain is what needs to happen; creating positive triggers by knowing WHAT is good for you, HOW it is good for you, and most very importantly, WHY it is good for you.
Let me digress...you're driving home from a particularly challenging day at work. No one is waiting at home because the ex has the kids...a song comes on the radio, and you threaten to change it, but you don't. "I can do this...it's just a song."
WRONG - emotional trigger number one. Soon after, you're home sobbing, reflecting, regretting, searching for lost cards, pictures, tangible memories AND you're back at square one.
The second emotional trigger? Places. "I'm just gonna stop into this place, get a quick drink, and head home." Two hours later, you're pouring your heart out to the bartender, and you wonder how the hell you got where you are. Don't revisit places with crazy, significant memories OR wait until you're strong enough to make new ones there. If "I used to go there with..." then don't go. Pass it, and find a new place. You will thank me later. (Even if they have the best wings!)
The third trigger, but actually, the most significant one...is smells. From fifthsense.org The sense of smell is closely linked with memory, probably more so than any of our other senses. Those with full olfactory function may be able to think of smells that evoke particular memories; the scent of an orchard in blossom conjuring up recollections of a childhood picnic, for example. All of a sudden, you're in your grandmother's kitchen, or your estranged family member's presence, or, someone who still may have a piece of your heart. The worst part about this trigger, you can't change the radio channel, or drive by it. It may just happen with a stop at the store, a visit to a friend's house, or a random stop to Yankee Candle.
All I can say is this...I have a journal with my triggers clearly written out, and sometimes, I need to revisit it. With this being said, sometimes, triggers can be good. A new adventure or new path. I am still figuring out all my triggers but I do know WHEN to change the song, HOW to drive by, and WHEN a smell evokes a memory, I allow myself to embrace it...for a moment...and then I let it go. We are meant to be loved, to be content, to be appreciated and to be at peace.
Take a moment, and think about your triggers...the moments where, all of a sudden, you are reeling, hurting, questioning. Let me tell you this. You ARE deserving. You ARE good. And when you can retrain your brain to not only know your triggers, but to create and embrace positive triggers, you will be on a path of self-healing and prosperity.
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; Philippians 4:6
