Mirrors are a fascinating thing. They accurately reflect an image to a tee. Well almost. A mirror is a backwards reflection. Words and pictures are reflected backwards. So if words and images are backwards, isn't the reflection of our face as well? I can see my reflection in the screen as I type this...and I appear at peace. But what do others see? Do they see an intellectual typing away while sipping her Starbucks? Do they see a mother? Do they see the writer in me?
The reflective aspect of a mirror actually came to me when I was brushing my daughter's hair this morning. She has this amazing long beautiful blonde hair that I used to pray for when I was growing up. I guess God answered the prayer with my daughter, huh? Anyway, she stares at her reflection in the mirror, and as I brush out the knots and curls and fly aways I see her expression change and improve with each brush stroke. "Mommy, aren't I the most beautiful little girl?" Ahhhh...un-fractured self image. I nod in agreement to her question, blinking away tears, and silently fearing the life hurts that lie ahead for my girl's heart.
Why is it when I look in the mirror, hastily brushing my chemically treated blonde wisps of hair, I see the flaws? The fragmented version of my former self? Why don't I see the very best IN me and, instead only pick apart the very worst? How backwards is that!
As we age, we not only feel older in our souls, our bodies and our spirits...we LOOK older. And the reflection staring back at me is a true testament to that. Soft lines frame my brown eyes...a deep wrinkle is forged between my eyebrows...and I see them as flaws. So I rush to the cosmetic store, scramble to make dermatologist appointments, book another "hair day"!! Fight fight fight fight, right?
Nope. I am going to surrender this fight. Am I going to let myself go? Forgo vanity for charity? Well lets not get crazy here...but the importance of reflection is not what is ON the surface...it is what is BELOW the surface. The reflective heart is far more complicated but far more important than our outward self. Without searching our hearts and reflecting upon ourselves, we will constantly feed the outward image with quick fixes and short term remedies.
I keep going back to my daughter's commentary on her image...her raw honesty...her outward and inner reflection in the same mirror I look at. A jealousy looms within me for that cohesion of inner and outer peace.
Honestly, I don't think what I feel is much different than many feel in this day and age. Constant pressure to appear "whole and happy", a life reliant on Starbucks lattes, squeezing in 30 minute cardio, pouring over the newest self-help books, rifled-through stacks of fashion and health magazines...failed attempts to uncover what lies within ALL of us....life knowledge, unfulfilled dreams, lingering passions, and self love.
Next time you peek at that mirror, whether it be a wall to wall vanity mirror, a computer monitor, or your rearview mirror...try and see the wisdom of the fine lines, the laughter in the wrinkled forehead, and the tears of joy cried from the eyes staring back at you.
