And a gigantic tennis-ball sized welt surrounded by an ever growing bruise smack dab in the middle of my right shin. A painful reminder of a set of lounge chairs that crossed my path when I trudged back to my hotel room after a fun day of day-drinking, sunbathing, and just disconnecting from the reality of everyday life.
You may have giggled a little bit...heck, it's damn funny! I am a klutz. In life and love. It's pretty funny that two weeks later, the tan has faded, my bank account remains empty, yet the welt has only begun to diminish and an attractive red scab remains. Arnica gel on the bruises have reduced the bright purple to a minimal yellow-green.
When I look at my leg daily and its progress (almost frustratingly), I can only compare the snail-like slow healing to the immensely slow process of the healing of a broken heart.
I love this diagram as it exemplifies the 4 stages of a healing wound, the last one being "remodeling".
Will my shin EVER be the same? The answer is...no. Just like our hearts after a heartbreak. It is NEVER the same. Scar tissue sets in and a song, a word, a waft of fragrance immediately can bring us back to the point of impact. Our physical bodies are incredible healing machines when it comes to wounds. The "remodeling" is unique, and involuntarily orchestrated by our brains, nerve cells, blood and skin cells.
When it comes to emotional healing, we are, unfortunately, more in control of how we handle it. We often go full speed ahead, looking for a replacement for the gaping hole that heartache can leave. We wake up daily and repeat a cycle; kind of a Groundhog Day nightmare - we do it over and over and over again. We haven't lost hope in the fairytale, right?
In the process of a physical wound healing, such as my now golfball sized welt accented with a lovely bright maroon center, if we pick the scab, we, in essence, are SLOWING down the process. We bleed again, we dab at it, and we wait for our human bodies to restart, regroup, and create a new boo-boo. If we know this, why do we pick our scabs?
Metaphorically speaking of course...why do we try and speed up healing of a broken heart? Time DOES heal. It also teaches us about ourselves (if we want to learn anything that is!) and it allows our souls to fill, the cracks in our heart to mend, and our spirits to renew and be what it needs to be, not just to others but to our own damaged self.
The coming weeks, for me, will be a time of physical as well as emotional healing. When I arrived in the Bahamas just shy of 3 weeks ago, I had made a conscious decision that I was going to let go of so many hurts, and disappointments, and truly enjoy myself. As I look down at my shin, I can smile. Did it hurt like hell and did I cry all the way back to my room? Maybe...
But on the way back to my room, my broken, bruised and battered self (I hadn't seen my other shin or my face yet!), I reached a crossroad...a new path. A journey of self-discovery and soul understanding. And I am not looking back.
