So I am in the strangest place I have ever been. Unemployed. Not by choice. After my school adventure came to an amazing finish in late July with the successful passing of my last state teaching exam, I have been unable to find a job. And to be honest, I am lost. I am in limbo and I do not like it.
Here's the thing...my internal compass isn't "working" either. After one decision is made, I reel back and all of a sudden I am unsure of myself, doubting every move I make and I am standing in this dense forest of life, with no sign of a path, or even a trickle of sunlight. I am truly lost. Or maybe, this place is exactly where I am supposed to be. Hey, I am the preacher of choosing our happiness, making new paths, and following our dreams right? I took this gigantic leap of faith, walked away from a salary job with benefits, to pursue my dream of teaching. So maybe I am not really lost at all...maybe I have found that no matter how SURE we are, how ON FIRE we are for something maybe life has a different plan for me? God is watching saying, "slow down Tiff! You have been a speed ball for years, never slowing and rarely breathing and taking just a moment to look around and SEE WHAT I AM DOING!"
Yes, I am going to find a job as a teacher. The perfect job is out there, waiting for me and in my 40th year on this planet (February will bring me officially into my 4th decade of life God-willing!) I am finally starting to figure it out. Timing. Timing is the "regulation of occurrence, pace or coordination to achieve a desired affect". In the recent past, I have discussed consequence. Well consequence tends to be an undesired affect of choices so....if I am wanting a desired affect - which of course is me landing a job as an elementary teacher near or at my children's school - then shouldn't I let timing take its lovely, patient and forever unpredictable course?
A friend of mine shared with me some very good advice when she was going through the uncertainties of life; she said, "Tiffany, don't let circumstance determine your faith but let your FAITH determine your circumstance!" With that being said, I am not unemployed. I am not lost. I am expecting...expecting a great and wonderful "affect" in the near future. The perfect job that God and my faith has determined. I will embrace and enjoy this time, and know that I always have what I need...and should never want for anything that is not meant for me to have.
