Mirror Reflections

Mirrors are a fascinating thing. They accurately reflect an image to a tee. Well almost. A mirror is a backwards reflection. Words and pictures are reflected backwards. So if words and images are backwards, isn't the reflection of our face as well? I can see my reflection in the screen as I type this...and I appear at peace. But what do others see? Do they see an intellectual typing away while sipping her Starbucks? Do they see a mother? Do they see the writer in me?

The reflective aspect of a mirror actually came to me when I was brushing my daughter's hair this morning. She has this amazing long beautiful blonde hair that I used to pray for when I was growing up. I guess God answered the prayer with my daughter, huh? Anyway, she stares at her reflection in the mirror, and as I brush out the knots and curls and fly aways I see her expression change and improve with each brush stroke. "Mommy, aren't I the most beautiful little girl?" Ahhhh...un-fractured self image. I nod in agreement to her question, blinking away tears, and silently fearing the life hurts that lie ahead for my girl's heart.

Why is it when I look in the mirror, hastily brushing my chemically treated blonde wisps of hair, I see the flaws? The fragmented version of my former self? Why don't I see the very best IN me and, instead only pick apart the very worst? How backwards is that!

As we age, we not only feel older in our souls, our bodies and our spirits...we LOOK older. And the reflection staring back at me is a true testament to that. Soft lines frame my brown eyes...a deep wrinkle is forged between my eyebrows...and I see them as flaws. So I rush to the cosmetic store, scramble to make dermatologist appointments, book another "hair day"!! Fight fight fight fight, right?

Nope. I am going to surrender this fight. Am I going to let myself go? Forgo vanity for charity? Well lets not get crazy here...but the importance of reflection is not what is ON the surface...it is what is BELOW the surface. The reflective heart is far more complicated but far more important than our outward self. Without searching our hearts and reflecting upon ourselves, we will constantly feed the outward image with quick fixes and short term remedies.

I keep going back to my daughter's commentary on her image...her raw honesty...her outward and inner reflection in the same mirror I look at. A jealousy looms within me for that cohesion of inner and outer peace.

Honestly, I don't think what I feel is much different than many feel in this day and age. Constant pressure to appear "whole and happy", a life reliant on Starbucks lattes, squeezing in 30 minute cardio, pouring over the newest self-help books, rifled-through stacks of fashion and health magazines...failed attempts to uncover what lies within ALL of us....life knowledge, unfulfilled dreams, lingering passions, and self love.

Next time you peek at that mirror, whether it be a wall to wall vanity mirror, a computer monitor, or your rearview mirror...try and see the wisdom of the fine lines, the laughter in the wrinkled forehead, and the tears of joy cried from the eyes staring back at you.

Legacy

Today is the 10 year anniversary of 9/11...a day forever etched in our American minds. I know exactly where I was...and how I felt.

As I tearfully scroll through dramatic pictures, the raw emotions and the helpless feeling I had that day immediately return.

Millions of Americans woke up that day like any other day, rushing off to work or school or to catch a plane...and thousands were killed, many giving their lives to save others. Heroes. A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer. Ralph Waldo Emerson

What made one man decide to let others go down the stairwell before him? What kind of man, knowing his fate, fought suicidal hijackers and took control of a doomed plane?

Legacy is defined as something handed down from one person or generation to another; a gift. The legacy of the people that stood in harm's way to save others lives on today. Thousands of lives saved, hundreds of fatherless babies born, tons of unanswered questions and the rebirth of patriotism amidst true American tragedy is the legacy of 9/11/01.

Today, take just a moment, not just to honor those who gave their lives a decade ago, but to honor our American troops, the families left behind, and the legacy that lives on today.

Did you know that the fires at Ground Zero burned for 99 days? Over 3000 children lost a parent? That even though 10 years have passed, we can just look at one picture and we are there again...watching history unfold, lives forever changed, hearts shattered, and a country deeply wounded.

Psalm 46:10
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

God bless America!

Integrity

In today's society, integrity is severely lacking. Period. Relationships of convenience come and go; people propel forward with little consideration of the ones they are stepping over in their path. Hurting souls cry out for help and we walk on by, figuring they deserve to be where they are and deserve to remain there.

Wikipedia reveals integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions. Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy, in that it regards internal consistency as a virtue. As such, one may judge that others "have integrity" to the extent that they act according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integrity)

Have there been times in your life where maybe things weren't going your way? Down on your luck? Made you made some mistakes that left you with a sense of condemnation or shame? What turned it around for you...was it a person of integrity that remained there with you without judgement, maybe was inconvenienced by you, went against the grain to defend your honor but still remained "in the fire" with you until things settled and corners were turned?

Or maybe there was a time you could have taken the easy way out; bowing to the current instead of swimming up stream; making a tough judgement call even though many said "you didn't have to do that"; looking out for YOUR best interests instead of the interests of others?

In this day and age of overwhelming media connectivity, we are quick to discard people, passions, and honesty for self-gain. Life isn't a snap shot...it is a large canvas painted with all of the trials and victories we've endured. Living with integrity shouldn't be a moment to moment decision but a way of life. Doing the right thing isn't easy but at the end of the day, when the house is quiet, and the sky is dark, your head can lie on a pillow without regret or the sense that you could have done a little better with your day.

Integrity is something people see in you, your words and and your actions. Are you a person of integrity?

Maybe, the most inspirational video ever . . .

It is never too late

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing" - Albert Einstein

I turned 37 in February. It was a bit of a shock to me. 37. I remember skydiving at 25...jumping out of that plane...embracing what the next 25 years would bring, soaring fourteen thousand feet above sea level. And now, a "fortnight" of years later, I am fully engaged in the American rat race, running after a four year old son and enduring a sassy seven year old daughter (in which my mom never fails to remind me the apple doesn't fall far from the tree).

37. I remember thinking at 25 that by 37, I'd have my masters degree under my belt, and be steadily working towards my PhD. I'd casually work part time consulting, simultaneously preparing my award winning thesis, enjoying my late thirties, amidst shuffling 2 or 3 perfectly behaved children between dance, soccer and play dates. Oh the life!

Well, I'll spare you the details of what 37 has actually become, but I will share this. I don't have my masters, and the only PhD I could possible work towards is one in the art of bribery of young children to just behave for five flipping minutes and eat what's on their plates!!

The point of this reflective moment? Well, honestly, I have been inspired. My drive, my spirit and my "inner fuel" has been ignited! Pshaw on you 37! Average life expectancy of an American woman...80.2 years(new results from the cdc website published 5/2011). It is never to late to live the life you desire for yourself.

Where you are at this very moment is a summation of ALL the choices you have made throughout your entire life. Whether they were great choices or bad choices, you made them and you are living them out. "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Anonymous

Maybe a masters degree was more of my parent's dream then my own...and who needs an award winning thesis anyway? But regardless of where you are, or where you've been, or where you THINK you are going to end up, it is never to late to live out a dream that has, for whatever reason, remained dormant within you. "When our actions do not, our fears make us traitors." - William Shakespeare (Macbeth)

Changing your perspective

Recently, there was a time where I had gotten to the point in which I would rarely read a newspaper, or watch the news.  It was just too depressing and my mind would run in a million different directions.   But then, strangely, I found myself to be un-informed, not being able to engage in many conversations regarding current events...and I was quickly becoming naive and somewhat isolated in my knowledge of the world's goings-ons.

I started turning the news on, checking online updates, and reading the paper at work.  The turmoil of the world continued but somehow my break from "media" reality had given me a different perspective.  The daily dose of dire news wasn't overwhelming....and what I found was, that amidst chaos there was surprisingly a lot of good going on in the world.  Destroyed towns being rebuilt after the latest natural disaster, communities banning together for a sick child, food banks popping up in economically challenged neighborhoods, life long sports dreams played out on the big stage...good stuff.

Maybe I was more pessimistic and fearful a few years back...when the news would put me in "pull the sheets over my head" mode and I would helicopter-mom my children, not ever letting them out of my sight.  Somehow, through all of the trials I have endured as of late, optimism has crept in and planted itself sturdy within me.  I can flip through a newspaper plagued with tragedy and find the good story, the uplifting moment that will propel me forward and continue to feed this newfound optimism.  Is an ongoing positive attitude truly about changing your perspective?

The definition of an optimistic person is to be hopeful and confident about the future; to be one who usually expects a favorable outcome.  Helen Keller, born blind and deaf, proclaimed "Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement.  Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

Changing your life's perspective can not just only improve your life, but the lives of those around you.  A spirit of hope and confidence can be contagious, and you'll be amazed at the effects that a changed attitude can have on others...and ultimately on you.

What if...?

Well...what else can follow "if only" but "what if"? This short but profound question honestly haunts me, and challenges my already over-thinking brain on a minute to minute basis. I look at myself, my children, my life, my career...I take a step back and really LOOK at the journey I am on. How have I gotten here...and where I am going?

What if I hadn't packed up a car and moved to Florida 15 years ago? What if I had allowed fear of flying to keep me from boarding a plane to Paris? What if I kept my heart hidden from the world?

"What if" plays on all our fears...plays on our anxieties...and ultimately plays on our guarded hearts. We have all made bad decisions...none of us are perfect. What if I woke up everyday and decided TODAY IS THE DAY? Leaving all the fears, the regrets, the hurts behind...

Memories and oh-so-real images run through our minds like freight trains in the night...rolling past sleeping cities on worn railroad tracks...leaving us tired to the point of defeat. What if we bundle all of the bad choices and regrets together, cast them away and press on?

What if we choose to leave everything out on the field everyday? Each day being a sudden death playoff game...do it now or don't do it all. What if we choose the rocky unknown path in instead of the easy way out? What if...?

The Road Not Taken
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost