Forecast: Overcast & Gloomy

I wanted to be a meteorologist when I was growing up. I only felt this way for a brief time, as when the weather didn't pan out, everyone would turn their anger towards the weatherman. We'd put our 100% faith in his weather report...out would emerge rain chance percentages...or we'd see pictures of suns, or dark clouds with a single bolt of lightning. Now we can just click on an app and we see a radar that's undeniable. The weatherman has become more of newscast staple than the "go-to guy".

Life has no forecasts. Each day is a new adventure...somewhat. It truly is what we make it honestly. The cliche term..."yesterday is history, tomorrow a mystery, and today is a gift that's why we call it the present" comes to mind. I find it too easy to get caught up in worry, or yesterday's mistakes, or having fear of what has not even happened yet. We walk around this earth with so many dreams in our head, our hearts steel-guarded, and memories of mistakes and "should-haves" running through our minds.

Living in Florida, hurricane season comes every year. Our trusty "go-to guy" weatherman pleads with us yearly to stock up on canned goods, batteries, water, and flash lights. We watch the radars and satellite images in awe, the large swirl of storm clouds with an eye that almost stares back and we...well...we wait. What if we had a life radar where we could see life's storms coming and we could prepare for them as best as we could? Or we could see perfect sunny days without a spot of rain? Of course this is a preposterous idea, but the motive for me asking is if we have no clue what tomorrow holds, why not expect better instead of wait for worse? Practical thinking and realism will only get you so far in this world. We limit ourselves.

I walked outside my home this morning and at first, saw nothing but storm clouds and rain drops. With a sigh, I hurried the dogs back in and the feeling of gloom came over me like a tidal wave. But then I grabbed my laptop and came outside to my sheltered table, and felt the cooler air, watched native birds bask in the thirsty pond, and listened to a chorus of frogs and alligators (yes alligators) revel in the much needed rain.

Choosing to see past the overcast skies and gloomy rain allowed me to have a moment of inspiration and for just a few moments, I re-visited the dream of becoming a meteorologist...smiling and sharing the exciting news of weather to come with an oh-so-captivated audience. Seize each moment regardless of the apparent outward circumstance. Be determined and persevere.

Road Trip Freedom

There is something about road trips that just kind of ignites some inspiration up in me. I can only assimilate it to a grill with coals that have been sitting stagnant for weeks, waiting to be lit up with some fire and fuel to cook up a feast! My road trip philosophy has changed of course, since my children came into the world. Instead of packing my car with friends, coolers, and a jukebox of music...it is replaced with car seats, hand held video games and burned CD's filled with pre-school favorites. As I drove across the state of Florida yesterday, with two kids in back, busily trying to outscore each other on gameboys while munching on the variety of snacks I hurriedly packed, thoughts of my past lives (isn't that what they are...lives?) sporadically ran through my head.

As I peeked in my rear view mirror at my overly distracted children, THE family road trip from Providence, RI to Disneyworld immediately came to mind. With a stearn finger and a deep voice, my father stood over me and my two brothers, and one by one reminded us of the car "rules". I am not sure the exact verbatim but the ideas that spring to mind are #1 no fighting....#2 no fun....#3 no noise and my favorite #4 if you have to go to the bathroom, wait until we stop...never ask. Furthermore, I recall my clothes smelling worse than a smoky bar. Back in the 80's, science hadn't discovered that cigarette smoke and lung issues were correlated. The smoke from my dad's salem light 100's would trickle into the back seat and surround us like a cloud...we were all "crammed" into the back seat of the latest and greatest cadillac (no bucket seats or dvd players for us!) and we had word search books (gasp), walkmans with cassette tapes (huh?) and maybe a soda as NO FOOD was allowed in the car ever....maybe that was rule #5?

I always sat behind my mom on the window...my little brother got the middle seat and my other brother would be off in his own world behind my dad. I remember looking out the window and noticing the change in landscape from state to state, and listening to the same songs over and over again on my walkman, imagining and dreaming of adulthood...and freedom. Isn't that what we all want?

Freedom. Freedom from our schedules, our burdens, our obligations, our past mistakes. How free is our life now? I relish the free time I now have on an airplane ride. No phone, no wireless service...I have to get 35,000 feet above this place in order to have freedom to process all that is truly happening in my life. The blackberry dinging, the emails pouring in...the unrelenting computer screens. And don't forget to mention, the obligations that comes along with parenthood and relationships.

Now, when I look back at that time, me sitting behind my always obedient mother while peering out the smoky windows of a cadillac, silently crossing state borders on our way to the land where dreams come true (promises, promises Mickey!), I am realizing freedom lies within ourselves and within our ability to self discipline. Freedom means to me the ability to do what I want when I want without having to explain myself away to anyone. Freedom is putting what is important FIRST and all of the other distractions fall to the waist side. What is freedom to you?

Conquering Fear x 3

The word "fear" even sounds scary, yes? Many of us struggle with fears. Past hurts, ongoing stress, and modern day realities feed our fears incessantly. Take control and identify these fears. Grab life by its stormy reigns and rule the windy roads of uncertainty!

Fear #1 Not being good enough
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us." -Marianne Williamson.
Have we adopted the "barely get by" mentality? We maintain a status quo, settle for less than the best and stay satisfied with mediocre. Ironically, all of us have IT in us; IT being magic, drive, potential, success, power, charisma and fearlessness. At the end of the day, we should never care what others think. According to Andy Andrews, if you fear criticism you'll never act or do anything of substance. Think about it.

Fear #2 Being rejected
"Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed."-Michael Pritchard. It's three am and the house is quiet and of course, very dark. The thoughts creep in...not having enough, not doing enough, not being enough, not working hard enough...fears. Fears steal from us. They are like a thief that we give the keys to and say "have at it". WE choose what we fear and WE choose what we conquer. Think about it.

Fear #3 Vulnerability
"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."-Bertrand Russell. Ahhhh the fear of love. The fear of giving a part of yourself that you may never get back. Anyone who knows me knows I am a lover of life...a passionate crazy enthusiastic lover of life. I give 100% of myself to my amazing children and I will continue to give all of myself to the world because in the end...what matters? I can leave an imprint; I can leave a legacy; I can inspire but most importantly, I can live without fear. Think about it.

"Life itself is a privilege. To live life to its fullest is a choice." - The Traveler's Gift

Money and dreams

This morning, amidst the flurry of activity in my home (cheerios poured, lunches packed, teeth brushed. etc) the song "Bittersweet Symphony" streamed in the background..."'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life. You are a slave to money then you die." Not really uplifting at all. But how true it is. Could this song be seen as a theme song to our lives?

How many decisions do we make on a daily basis that are directly related to our financial status? Where we live, where we work, what we eat, where we travel, what we wear, what we embark on and ultimately, what we compromise on. Lately, to me, life has become one big compromise. What was important and dream-driven has now been put on the back burner in exchange for long work hours, microwave dinners, getting those darn bills paid, and basically, flipping calendar pages in a survivalist mentality.

How did we get here? Where the almighty dollar takes precedence over family time...in which a strangers perception of us is more important than how our children view us. Where dreams have a price tag and our time is worth less and less and less. Gratitude and selflessness has been replaced with greed and selfishness. Our cups are being filled with temporary "boosts"...and the cycle continues. We are so wrapped up in clinging to the dollars in our worn pockets that it has led us to relinquish the things we believe in.

Remember, we got one life...one go around to make it happen. How can we change our mind's thinking to avoid being slaves to money and becoming victorious in our dream fulfillment? The answer is balance. And to achieve this balance, we quit selling our time for next to nothing and start charting our dreams. Making your dreams real to you and others will only instill a deep motivation to propel yourself forward, to a place where what you truly believe in is how you live.

The Exclamation Point vs. The Period

You know what's great about face to face conversation between people? Great stuff emerges. Ideas...stories...jokes...changing tones of voice that can be construed as either sarcasm or satire.

But in writing, whether it be letters...emails or texts...how do we convey these "tones"? With a smiley face :) or a wink ;) or even...yes...the exclamation point!

View the difference below:
I had a great day.

I had a great day! (Yeah-that's passion for you!)

Our country was founded on passionate conversations laden with exclamatory statements; as our freedom-desiring forefathers with blood pumping fiercely through their veins fought for a life some of us take for granted!

My point? (There always is one of course.) Don't fear the "exclamation points" of life...fear the period. The period that ends a sentence describing a life under-lived, non-productive, passion-lacking...empty.

You know what's great about face to face conversation between people? Great stuff emerges!

Mad World

When I was growing up in New England, I was part of the rat race before truly knowing what it was. I mean I was 12 years old with a paper route, a part time babysitting gig, pet sitting neighbors' cats, and an occasional run at a lemonade stand.

And this was all before Blackberrys and iPhones and Facebook and all of the other craziness that we have voluntarily engaged in!  In looking back, what was the point of multiple jobs at 12 years old? We didn't have the Wii or Netflix or on demand anything.  We had the outside, and we had friends in person not via text, Skype or My Space!

How do we shift our focus back to people? Back to what truly motivates us...our families, our children, our dear friends that we are always "too busy" texting, surfing, or status updating to spend time with them.  Challenging ourselves to be in person...engaging fully without having our attention turned to words on a screen.

Goals that we have set for ourselves and for our future have to have a foundation...a meaning near and dear to us.  Or we lose momentum.  The goals become fuzzy and we lose our focus.  Another dream or idea dies in the midst of our modern day chaos.

I have learned two hard facts about myself recently...I can't fully disconnect from the electronic world without a small sense of panic.  And secondly, even though through Facebook and texting and messenger, I am constantly "connected" to family, friends, co-workers, old high school friends...the person to person connection has drastically dwindled.  It's almost like we don't know how to act around each other anymore without a phone or a PDA or laptop.

This is truly just scratching the surface of the social crisis we are in. People have stopped mattering to people.  We scan news articles about tragedy while listening to the latest hip hop song on our iPod.  We text while in the drop off line while our kids play their video games. We'll ponder over our next Facebook post but not about how we can help those in need. We become more and more de-sensitized to what truly matters the most...the human heart.

In the next several weeks, I am going to challenge myself (and hopefully you!) to disconnect to re-connect.  Even if it's an hour at night...or in the morning or whenever.  To me, there is nothing worse than our hearts, that are all filled with promise and potential, to be stifled and smothered by a seemingly connected world that has no depth, passion, or true reward.

(for an awesome song reference...google Gary Jules "Mad World"; you tube video to be posted)

It only takes one...

Several weeks ago, I was in the midst of discussions with my regional boss. We were of course bantering back and forth about numbers and the region's different stores and the mix of people in those stores. Being in sales, we are all competing for the same magic thing...customer's loyalty.

Attitudes of different sales consultants were of course addressed (the "poor me" syndrome is infamous amongst commissioned sales) and he said something very interesting to me. He said, "Tiffany, it only takes one. It only takes one person in a store to change the feel of a workplace, it only takes one good customer to turn your month around, it only takes one good experience to revive hope within the desperate individual."

Wow...amongst numbers, and customer issues, long winded sales pitches, computer crashes...the true insides of sales emerges...people.

In the media frenzied world, where loyalty is rare and where true service is at a price, we have an opportunity to be that one person...that one thing that turns around a situation.

Yesterday, I taught this same philosophy to someone who is feeling very overwhelmed in her situation. She covered her heart with her hand and said, "What can I do? What can one person do to change what is around us?" I told her very clearly, "Find one good thing in every person and every situation and magnify it ten-fold. That goodness will fuel you to continue to see more and more good."

This blog isn't a "feel good, everything is warm and fuzzy, rosie sunglasses"...this is truly about how one by one we can change the world. Tweaking our attitudes, seeing the very best in every situation, tackling problems with clarity and optimism, and staying fired up for life-this is what I want to teach through this blog. A passionate exciting life is reachable for all of us! We linger in dead space sometimes...the should haves, the would haves, the can't haves. Regroup...and renew your mind. Today is now. Rejoin life with an excitement and tap into that inner fuel!