Ghosts

I have recently changed jobs. After five years, I changed careers and in essence, completely changed my life... It's exciting, scary and sometimes just lonely. I miss my friends, the life I lived and the many many wonderful clients I worked with. I miss knowing everything and being the "go-to" person. But recently, I heard someone say "If you aren't moving forward, you are moving backward." How true is this statement? Do we settle for less more than we strive for better? Do we fear change? We push our children to do better, listen better, perform better but do we do the same for ourselves? I will personally tell you that a day does not go by that I don't struggle with my past. The reality is that I am where I am because of all of those choices...every decision I have ever made, good or bad. So I guess the real question is do I like where I am? Do you like where YOU are? My new job has opened my eyes to a lot of opportunity within the world and most importantly, within myself. I would never have dreamed of leaving my "safe place" of 5+ years but BECAUSE of my recent life changes...moving closer to family, changing my lifestyle, and shifting my focus on what was truly important, I would never have known of this new job nevermind go for it. In reality, I was a risk to hire. A newcomer to the field, no experience...just what my personality had to offer. And that was enough. Wow...what a relief! I guess what I am trying to wrap my head around is, why we have to go through what we do in order to get to a better place? And why is it so hard to let go of the past when it does nothing but haunt you?

I don't believe in ghosts. And I think allowing your past blunders interfere with your future greatness is a massive stumbling block. Many of us have been knocked down, been given up on or left behind. Life is a fight and there are days I gotta dig real deep to even put two feet on the ground and get moving! "First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win." Mahatma Ghandhi Look forward with hope and use your life experience to progress and propel yourself to a better place everyday. Bye for now...

Simplify

Rush rush rush

…running yellow lights…late again…check Facebook…text back “yes!” on church picnic…”kids turn down your video games, I’m trying to talk on the phone!”… drive-thru meals in the car…check the DVR to make sure it’s recording a show you will never have time to watch…”did I put clothes in the dryer?”…”sure, I can work an extra shift”…. midnight laundry folding sessions…update status that “life is great!”...fall into bed…wake up exhausted…and do it all over again.

This was me. For YEARS.  Stretched thin, little joy, barely getting by…trying to be all things to all people.  I looked in the mirror and I didn’t recognize the reflection.  All I saw was a tired, anxious and defeated image of my former self.  And then I walked away and started enjoying my life.

I moved away from the “perfect” neighborhood to be near a strong support system; I turned my Mercedes in for a “kid shuttle”; I quit my high paying job and regained my nights and weekends; I began cooking dinner again and I allowed people in my life that showed humility and a true belief for family values and roots that inspire me daily.  I learned how to garden (well re-learned…my passion for gardening had been stifled).  I turned the TV off, plugged my phone in when I arrived home, dusted off board games and learned to spend TIME with my growing children, listening to their dreams and enjoying their silliness. 

Our modern day lives pull us from one place to the next and distracts us from what is important and what is real.  Peaceful car rides have now become a multi-tasking environment.  The dinner table has become a coffee table in front of the television.  Texting has replaced conversation because we are too busy (?!?) to talk.

My life is still VERY busy…sometimes overwhelmingly busy.  But it’s busy with the right things…sunsets, soccer games, Sunday dinners, bonfires, family movie night, homemade brownies…moments.  Moments I have been missing…moments I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Maybe simplifying is not an option for you right now but you can set a goal to simplify.    Start with just ONE thing; your full plate will be lighter and your days will be brighter and the simple life will draw you in like a beautiful sunrise…I promise.

 

 

Be True To You

So at 38 I am learning you can't please everyone. Most of the time, honestly, you can't please ANYONE. We bend, we change, we conform to what WE think people want us to be. And where we end up is confused but most importantly, we end up not living our best. We are each given a gift...a gift of uniqueness, originality, and of purpose. If we are constantly trying to please others we are trying to live out other's ideas of purpose for us and our unique original selves get lost.

Favorite child author Dr. Seuss says it best: "Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you'er than you!" I have made countless choices based soley on people's perceptions of what I SHOULD have done. Instead of ending up happy and fulfilled, I have been left with making other choices...harder choices to put me back on the path I was supposed to be on. After close to 5 years, I can say I have my happy back. My voice may shake when I am speaking the truth, but at least it speaks it! The fear of rejection and the worry of not being good enough fades a little bit with each day of me perservering, pushing forward...straining towards the goal of being true to me. My children see a happier mom, a truer spirit, a soul-full lady living out who God intended me to be. An original. A gift. A purpose. We all have this gift inside...a gift of who WE TRULY ARE and not who the world wants us to be. Share it without fear and run your own race. "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Coming Full Circle

"It's never too late to bounce back.
What goes around, comes around.
Sometimes the down times seem endless.
But they're part of a cycle.
Be persistent.
That's the key.
Keep the faith.
It may take time.
But you'll bounce back."
- from It's Never Too Late...172 Simple Acts To Change Your Life

My daughter just turned 8 this past weekend.  To think 8 years have passed since that moment she entered the world and changed my life and truly changed my everything.  My life is completely different then it was 8 years ago.  I am a single mom of my daughter and son...living in a house a quarter of the size...couponing my way out of getting my electric turned off...and to be frank, I am happier than I have ever been in my life.

Maybe I am happier because I finally like myself.  Maybe I am happier because I live a simpler life.  Maybe I am happier because after years of wanting one, I have a beautiful garden flourishing with fresh vegetables and aromatic herbs. Maybe I am happier because I have realized that it is the little wonderful moments that help us move forward to a better place.

Eight years ago, the house I resided in was bustling with kids and neighbors and friends...it was the stopover between dropping kids off at school, running them to events, a quick cup of coffee or on the way out to another fun group dinner.  With the garage door always open, we entertained the neighborhood kids with a seemingly endless supply of juice boxes, popsicles, and snacks.  It was a fun, lively place and it was a life I had always wanted.

And now, once again, after some difficult times and tough decisions, my house has become a bustling "stopover" with no less than five children running through, munching on fresh fruit, sipping down sweet tea and dancing to whatever is on the radio.  Neighbors walk in and out of my yard, constantly greeted by my pair of golden retrievers.

I walk into my 1000 square foot home with a smile, and a feeling of gratitude.  Yes...gratitude.  When you can look back at what you have endured...when you can forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made...when you can look at your life and BE CONTENT in your spirit...that is gratitude.

I have come full circle, living in a place I never dreamed I would.  Enjoying life with family and friends like I never have.  Getting up in the morning with a sense of purpose and not a feeling of defeat.  Isn't this what life is all about? Learning? Progressing? Maturing into a human being of purpose and contentment?  

Push aside all of the falsehoods of your youth...the "false advertising" of the white picket fence that we all fell for.  Breathe. Focus. Become content in knowing life is hard for EVERYONE; the rich, the poor, the famous, the "nobodies".  How we handle the difficult moments (because they are just that...temporary moments) paves the way on how we can flourish in the glory of the goodness of this world.  

Embrace where you are and love your family and friends with all your heart.

"If there is no struggle, there is no progress" - Frederick Douglas

Get Up, Stand Up

Happy Leap Year! Wow an extra day to live out your best.

I came across an old Japanese proverb amidst my readings "Fall seven times, stand up eight." Such a simple statement yet incredibly profound at the same time.

To be blatant, the last four years, ironically bookended by a leap year, have been a trip-and-fall mess of life. But I consider myself blessed...and most importantly, resilient.

In reality, placing blame doesn't ease life's hurts and traumas; it just complicates them and delays YOU moving forward.

When stopping in at a local coffee shop, I peeked at a community bulletin board. A tacked-up sticker read "You don't know how strong you are until you're living the circumstances that force you to be strong."

Allow your brain to think positively, connect with others (through your hurts and failures), live your life on purpose EVERYDAY, and face it with a new attitude. Seek the joy in the little moments and cease to dwell on what I call "the big uglies".

Resiliency is not a quality in only a few of us; it is in all of us. So brush off, get up and stand up once more.

Anyway - Martina McBride

Do It Anyway

Well I apologize for the massive gap between now and my last posts; to be frank I haven't had it IN me to write. Lately I have left it all on the "field of life"!

Exhausted... day in...day out. Life's disappointments became overwhelming and my inspirations dried up along with my enthusiasm for life. Wow. How absolutely depressing?!?!

When life absolutely stinks it up...do it anyway. LIVE it anyway...put one foot in front of the other and walk it out.

A dear friend recently put it to me like this "you have 2 choices...dwell or move on and learn!!". Hmmmmmmm, let's look at this.

What's more intimidating? A fearless fighter of life...a player...an all-in kind of person or a spectator...a let-things-happen-to-me kind of person?

I am a doer. I am a person of action. I am a woman of my word. I can't say I have always been but I am now. We are here to LIVE this out, BUILD it up, SING out loud!!

The definition of dwell is "to exist in a given place or state". So as a dweller, I am to exist in a place that has been given to me? By what...circumstance? Bad choices? A person? I don't think so!

We are made for more than "dwelling". We are created for excelling...for victory over strife...for love over hate...for LIFE over DEATH.

Dreams shattered? Dream them anyway. Heart broken? Love them anyway. Been told NO YOU CAN'T? Well if I must say....do it anyway.